Shalom sisters, man has it been sooo long. I desire to write so many blogs but fail at completing them. I truly am not going to make an excuse and say I don’t have time. I haven’t prioritize this blog as I should. BUT. Now that I’ve told you (especially myself) that, I will be working on more frequent posts.
I don’t celebrate my birthday but I am a year older, and prior to this time I reflected a lot about my life and where I was with myself and Yahweh. I reflected on where I am and where I want to be or more so where Yahweh wants me. And I realized something. I’ve spent 20+ years trusting myself and have gotten nowhere. Jokes on my flesh, right? I live with my parents rent-free, college graduate, Master of Social Work candidate, working a job with great pay, “self-sufficient”. This is everything that “I” did because I always wanted it. This is what I defined as success. Independent black woman, right? please. I realized I spent the majority of my life trusting myself, and yes I climbed up WORLDLY ladders. But let’s be real, my self esteem was crazy low, I did not have a prayer life where the enemy knew he couldn’t mess with me, unless someone was lifting me up in prayer, I was not in peace, did not have a sound mind, bitter, mad at soo many people and myself. I mean, what wasn’t I dealing with? And it’s all because I did not Trust the Elohim Almighty. For many women in the world, this may not hit them/you (maybe) hard, if it doesn’t maybe you need to re-evaluate yourself. Seriously, do it.
Being the driver of my life for so many years, the Most High BROKE me and humbled my derriere. I truly thought I had it together, but I didn’t even have Him! WHAT?! Have mercy!!! DANGEROUS!!! Yes ma’am He humbled me cause I couldn’t do it myself. I am not going to be prideful and say I got tired anyway, because it’s nothing I did ( tearing up). If I wanted to, I could of drove my life some more, but HE helped me realized I was not going anywhere. Oh how the heart is wicked. But when the Most High chooses you, you can run as far as you want, but you have to make your choice if you will obey or be condemn. I made my choice.
The point of sharing all of this is to say: STOP trusting yourself. You know nothing. You know some vocabulary, proper English, some math, some history. That’s cute. Good job. But do you have applied knowledge, any spiritual gifts, a relationship with the Most High? Can Yahweh call YOU a friend? Are you at peace in the midst of the storm? Have inner joy? Have a passion in pleasing Yahweh? I don’t know about you but it’s recently I realized WHERE JOY was. DUH! in Yahweh! not me! Without Yahweh, I am foolish and without. NOTHING! UNWORTHY!
“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6
“Blessed is that man that maketh the LORD his trust, and respecteth not the proud, nor such as turn aside to lies.” Psalms 40:4
“Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.Trust ye in the LORD for ever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength” Isaiah 26:3-4
Set thy heart upon thy goods; and say not, I have enough for my life. Follow not thine own mind and thy strength, to walk in the ways of thy heart: And say not, Who shall controul me for my works? for the Lord will surely revenge thy pride. Ecclesiasticus 5:1-3
Purpose your heart to be set apart for the Most High and watch how He will take care of you. I love the back seat. Because I know that Yahweh has a better route for me then I EVER would’ve chosen for myself.
Be at peace sister. 🙂