What is this blog about anyway?

Good question! 

Blessings to ALL of my viewers, readers, and supporters. You know you are welcome to visit here at all times. And you’re also welcome to follow me on Instagram, Pinterest and can also e-mail me  at abetterwomancafe@gmail.com.  And if you didn’t know that, now you do! Lol, I really do like hearing from you all. It helps me know I’m not singing a sad song and that someone is interested in this blog haha! PS: I’ll follow you back so we can stay connected.

So back to answering the question. When I first started this blog last October, I was not half the person I am today. No, no. I don’t think I’m all of that now. But it’s true. I knew less and carried a lot more emotionally, spiritually and especially mentally. BUT. There’s one thing that has remain the same. The desire to be a better woman. 

…and that’s what my blog is about. 

Desiring better for myself and other women. I desire to live, think, love, cook, pray better. Do I have all the answers? Nope. After all I’m still a youngin lol. So if you’re a mommy desiring to become better, I’d love to hear from you on how I can become a better woman! Real stuff.  Because I’m not a mother yet. I can’t share what I don’t know, so let’s make this into a community. With straight posivity, support, love and growth.  Oh, now I’m pumped!

 

So stay tuned with my blog. There are a lot of changes coming and I’m excited for the route of this blog. If you have any ideas you’d like to share, please leave them in the comment below! 

Otherwise, I look forward to connecting with you via social media. 
Peace and love y’all! 

Rachel Nadine 

I’m back!

Hey amazing readers! 

I’ve been away for about two weeks and I am officially back. Back with more juice, energy, pazazz and all that good stuff! ​

In two weeks, so much has changed! Lol, it’s interesting how that happened but that’s my life. What I am proud to say is, a lot has changed for the better but we can talk about that in another blog right?!

I do want to share what taking a break from social media for 1-1.5 week has done for me. Cause I’m feeling like a N E W woman! Haha! Let’s get to it! 

• First, I had to spend more time with The Most High. Time from work, social media and organization my life gave me time to just do what I want and need to be doing.  And in spending time with Him, I learned more the so of who I am and how my nature is. I followed patterns, habits and my body. I learned more about this person I am. I’m so grateful to The Most High that I’ve learned more of myself. For beholding brings forth change. 
• I got to spend more time with my spiritual family and just connect with them. Since we’re all so busy with work and goals, this was our chance to pause and learn more of each other. That was amazing. I love them all.
• Lastly, I was able to just… relax from the constant clicking! Lol. So much has been going on in my life and it involves a whole lot of typing and clicking and surfing the web. I did miss seeing my beautiful followers and their posts, but I was able to just chill and recharge my battery. 

Time away was very much needed y’all! I learned about myself (and others) and I decided to change a few things. Truthfully, I was getting a bit tired in other areas in my life, so I needed to rest. You know … I took my own advice (Click here for my own advice). 

Sometimes we just need time away, to unplug, reconnect, rest and recharge. Make sure you are giving yourself that time to do so. I challenge you to try it for a day and spend time with amazing people. You alone can be that amazing person! You’ll discover so much! Give it a try! If you’ve tried it before or want to take up the challenge, share below! I want to hear from you! 

Rachel Nadine 

Intentional.

My childhood was something like this: wake up, go to school, go to church, play sports, dance, sing, repeat. Of course, there were days were I did things I enjoyed like blogging, vlogging, learning to sew, hang out etc. But for the most part I did a lot of  tasks under the mindset of “you’re just suppose to” rather than the “let’s get it!”mindset. So if you asked me what did I do in the last five ( or even ten) years of my life, today I’d say I existed. I met my requirement in every place but I was never really…Intentional. Because average was okay, I made the cut. But who’s really happy making the cut? I know I really wasn’t.

Now, here is where I can insert my sob story on how I grew up which is why I wasn’t intentional, but I won’t throw my valuable energy there, because I just don’t want to and it won’t benefit you or even myself.

One day, I got tired of doing the daily do’s and had to ask myself realistic questions because I was not happy being average. What do you want Rachel? Are you happy? Are you successful? How much do you care about your success? What do you even define as success?  I saw others succeed and wanted the same. Not their story exactly, but success in how it was properly defined for me. I began asking them questions, no matter how silly I felt, and answering my own questions for what they were.

Hearing the answers did hurt. But that “hurt” brought forth change. Some days better than others. But little by little, a new flower was sprouting! A happy intentional one.

In being intentional, I am able to understand what my goals are clearly and do things with meaning. For example, I no longer go to work because I have to (granted, I really do have to). But I make the most of work. If I am going to work, I am going to be the best at what I do. I want to be the best hugger/lover. I want to be the best sister, daughter, wife, friend, you NAME it.

And all of those best exist in outdoing myself. In outdoing myself, I have strategies on what I do to track my life and my success and slip ups (which will bring forth success). I longer want to be average. I have NO desire in doing so. I find joy in being intentional. Whatever I take part in, I put high expectation within myself to strive and do it with the greatest intent ever.

Are you striving? Are you happy with where you at? Don’t be average. Imagine how great you could be if only you did things with meaning?

Shalom,

Rachel Nadine

Effectively Putting Hands to the Plow

Here I am again with another post. A really short one actually.

First, I sincerely want to share the gratitude I have for my spiritual sisters. From our talks, inside jokes, rebukes, and holding each other accountable to living according to Yahweh, it has taught me so much in such a short time span in my life.

A topic we focus on this past Shabbat was being effective in A L L that we do. Whether it’s washing the dishes, helping a bethren, going to school/work, we ought to do it with a good spirit and with our all. We are not Christians. Christians focus on going to church and doing their THING there. Hebrew Israelites focus on living according to their culture daily. I must be a Hebrew at work, home, and within the presence of my assembly.
Can I be honest y’all? I hated my job so much as a caseworker, I became careless of it. I desired so much to learn to be a helpmeet at home or on a community that I began to slack in my caseload. And the Most High sure did show up about that. How Can I be an effective Hebrew everywhere I enjoyed but not in the areas I despise? No no, it doesn’t work that way. But more importantly, the POINT is, I, we, you, NEED to beacon a light wherever we go and whatever we do. 1) we represent Yahweh and He does not half step in His marvelous works. 2) we are Hebrews, we are taught to keep the Laws and love them with all our hearts. Therefore we should experience living in love and giving our selves…with all of our heart.

So sister, I encourage you to plow with all your heart. Serve your father, husband, etc with a song/psalm on your heart. Find peace in the task you despise the most and do it with love. It’s not about our feelings. You’ll eventually suck it up and be proud that you pleased the Most High Yah and your earthly master. I challenge you (whenever you read this) to make the commitment to effectively put your hand to the plow.
“And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Master and not to men, knowing that from the Master you shall receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Master, Messiah, you serve.” ‭‭Colossians‬ ‭3:23-24‬ ‭
“Commit your works to יהוה, And your plans shall be established.”‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭16:3

Trust Yahweh and Let Him in.

Shalom sisters, man has it been sooo long. I desire to write so many blogs but fail at completing them. I truly am not going to make an excuse and say I don’t have time. I haven’t prioritize this blog as I should. BUT. Now that I’ve told you (especially myself) that, I will be working on more frequent posts.

I don’t celebrate my birthday but I am a year older, and prior to this time I reflected a lot about my life and where I was with myself and Yahweh. I reflected on where I am and where I want to be or more so where Yahweh wants me. And I realized something. I’ve spent 20+ years trusting myself and have gotten nowhere. Jokes on my flesh, right? I live with my parents rent-free, college graduate, Master of Social Work candidate, working a job with great pay, “self-sufficient”. This is everything that “I” did because I always wanted it. This is what I defined as success. Independent black woman, right? please. I realized I spent the majority of my life trusting myself, and yes I climbed up WORLDLY ladders. But let’s be real, my self esteem was crazy low, I did not have a prayer life where the enemy knew he couldn’t mess with me, unless someone was lifting me up in prayer, I was not in peace, did not have a sound mind, bitter, mad at soo many people and myself. I mean, what wasn’t I dealing with? And it’s all because I did not Trust the Elohim Almighty. For many women in the world, this may not hit them/you (maybe) hard, if it doesn’t maybe you need to re-evaluate yourself. Seriously, do it.

Being the driver of my life for so many years, the Most High BROKE me and humbled my derriere. I truly thought I had it together, but I didn’t even have Him! WHAT?! Have mercy!!! DANGEROUS!!! Yes ma’am He humbled me cause I couldn’t do it myself. I am not going to be prideful and say I got tired anyway, because it’s nothing I did ( tearing up). If I wanted to, I could of drove my life some more, but HE helped me realized I was not going anywhere. Oh how the heart is wicked. But when the Most High chooses you, you can run as far as you want, but you have to make your choice if you will obey or be condemn. I made my choice.

The point of sharing all of this is to say: STOP trusting yourself. You know nothing. You know some vocabulary, proper English, some math, some history. That’s cute. Good job. But do you have applied knowledge, any spiritual gifts, a relationship with the Most High? Can Yahweh call YOU a friend? Are you at peace in the midst of the storm? Have inner joy? Have a passion in pleasing Yahweh? I don’t know about you but it’s recently I realized WHERE JOY was. DUH! in Yahweh! not me! Without Yahweh, I am foolish and without. NOTHING! UNWORTHY!

“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

“Blessed is that man that maketh the LORD his trust, and respecteth not the proud, nor such as turn aside to lies.” Psalms 40:4

“Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.Trust ye in the LORD for ever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength” Isaiah 26:3-4

Set thy heart upon thy goods; and say not, I have enough for my life. Follow not thine own mind and thy strength, to walk in the ways of thy heart: And say not, Who shall controul me for my works? for the Lord will surely revenge thy pride. Ecclesiasticus 5:1-3

Purpose your heart to be set apart for the Most High and watch how He will take care of you. I love the back seat. Because I know that Yahweh has a better route for me then I EVER would’ve chosen for myself.

Be at peace sister. 🙂

 

Healing

Shalom viewers. Tonight, I was posted up on my bed and I was moved to share the healing of Yahweh. I pray this blog post encourages at least one viewer to seek healing from Yahweh. I pray that you understand that you cannot shut your wounds without the help of the ultimate Healer. For many years, I believed that time healed. All you have to do is move on and you’ll get over it. But what the Father taught me is that only He can heal. What time does is sweep and hide the wounds deep in the inner bellies of our beings, but truly they are never gone. The cure to all hurts, diseases, pains, grief, bitterness, hatred and much more is healing from Yahweh alone.

What Christianity teaches is that once you ask for healing, you receive it. Boom! it’s yours. But in actuality, healing does not work that way. Yahweh is not a Elohim whom you go and rub on and ask for assistance, and then He just provides it. In order to receive healing, we must meet Yahweh’s condition.What are His conditions?

And said, If thou wilt diligently hearken to the voice of the LORD thy God, and wilt do that which is right in his sight, and wilt give ear to his commandments, and keep all his statutes, I will put none of these diseases upon thee, which I have brought upon the Egyptians: for I am the LORD that healeth thee. (Exodus 15:26)

Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil. It shall be health (healing) to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones. (Proverbs 3:8-9)

To meet Yahweh’s condition we must fear Him and be obedient to His laws, statutes and judgments. We must rid ourself of sin  and turn to Yahweh.

I spent the first couple of months as a Hebrew Yisraelite, holding on to hurts, bitterness and unforgiveness towards others and myself.  I thought once I didn’t see the people who hurt me anymore, I was healed. Moving on… Good! Not the case. I ask Yah for forgiveness of being bitter and unforgiving but I truly didn’t forgive others even myself. I spent my life holding on to pain and “acting” like I was alright. But in reality I was building up strong walls around the hurt and not allowing Yahweh in. I proclaimed I loved Him, but how could I, with an unforgiving heart. I was not meeting His conditions.

It was not until I forgave myself (still in the process) that I realize, I need to forgive others and move on. Who am I to choose who to forgive when the Father freely forgive those who ask? I cast down that pride in the name of Jesus. But healing is not done in an instant. It truly is a daily process in letting the Father in, and trusting (knowing) He will do an excellent work in you. HalleluYah. I look forward to being completely healed so that I can share a concrete testimony as His witness.

 

 

Chastisement from the Father

I haven’t written for two weeks and there is a reason. Sis, be mindful I actually am filled with topics and ideas as I usually share on Instagram. But let’s just say my Father has been disciplining me and I’ve been listening and obeying His voice.

I praise Him for the chastisement because He told me:

“My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord; neither be weary of his correction: for whom the Lord loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.”‭‭ (Proverbs‬ ‭3:11-12‬)

“And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: for whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.”‭‭ (Hebrews‬ ‭12:5-8‬)

“As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.”‭‭ (Revelation‬ ‭3:19‬)

Because of His reproof, I know HE LOVES ME. I am grateful, cause my heart doesn’t deserve love, but because He loves me, I love Him and I must obey Him.

Okay.

I want to remind my sisters who read this blog that I am a babe in my walk. Literally, more like an infant crying for mama and her milk (The Word) in desperate need.  Which means the things I share are things I’m convicted by in my own life and what I’ve gained understanding of BUT is very little. I practice it in my walk but I still have a way to go. I’m not better. I don’t have it together. It’s the Father that’s keeping me together. For real, for real!

To end, I beg you to understand that again: I do not know a lot. If anything, I’m ridding myself of some knowledge I thought was my truth. This walk can be overwhelming because I thought I had it together… BUT Yah. Man oh man He fixed me. He is breaking me and reforming me into His own. Hallelu Yah.

This blog reflects my walk. It does not reflect my knowledge, for there’s nothing I can boast about. What I know comes from Yahweh, my Father. And this blog is a public statement to encourage other sisters to walk towards the Father on the strait and narrow way. Few will find it, few will have ears for what they hear but the path IS there.

I pray that this blog continues to point you to the Father and not my walk. I’m not important here, becoming better for the Father is what is important. As the Father works with me understand that my uploads may decline. I will share only what my spirit moves me to share. Not what I learned and have studied. There’s a difference. Shalom and blessings to you.
“My brethren, be not many masters, knowing that we shall receive the greater condemnation. For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.”(James‬ ‭3:1-2‬ ‭KJV)

Confession: I’ve murdered.

As much as this blog is to help sisters become better in Christ, this blog is also to help me.

There’s a lot I still can’t share because there’s a lot I’m still working on. And I’m not a believer in telling a sister what to do when I haven’t searched for that spot in my eye (Matthew 7:3-5).

So to start: I’ve always thought I had one commandment together which was “You do not murder” (Exodus 20:13). But as I was studying my Word I found this sisters:

“Do not marvel, my brothers, if the world hates you. We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers. The one not loving his brother stays in death. Everyone hating his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has everlasting life staying in him. By this we have known love, because He laid down His life for us. And we ought to lay down for the brothers. ” ( 1 John 3:13-16)

How often do we love our brothers and sisters? And what are some ways we present our hate for our brothers and sisters?
I think as women and growing women (for those transitioning), it is really vital as daughters of the King to watch our thought process. Our thoughts reveal our hearts. And sister even scripture states that the heart is wicked (Jer. 17:9).

THINK: Have I said mean things intentionally to hurt my sibling because he/she hurt me? Things like: I wish you were never born, you’re so stupid, etc.  Or even in my actions, how have I showed love. Did I suck my teeth when your annoying coworker had a lot of bags in their hands and were walking too slow in front of you? Did you roll your eyes when the sister filled with happiness came around to hug you? (Is that normal?!)

Spend a lot of time examining how is it you choose your words /actions and why is it you slander those the way you do. Have they hurt you? Do they offend you? Why haven’t you seeked Your Father’s face for healing instead of telling the other sister about herself and how she hurt you?
REALIZE: The Spiritual war is not between man. What a Spiritual war this would be if we all realized we are distracted. How easy is it to forget that the war is between good and evil. Realize we waste time murdering each other when we just got to murder the enemies’ kingdom. He’s the enemy, he’s the liar, he’s the murderer! Not your boss!

Just to relate, if you personally know me, you know I am quiet-spirited for the most part. But when it came to someone trying to throw me under the bus, or disrespect me?! Oh, your girl was quick to let them know, I am not the one! And I was also quick to let them know they’re wrong and that they were this and  that.  I didn’t want to be around them or even look in their eyes. Ouch. But little did I know, it was also bitterness in my heart that didn’t allow me to love them when they hurt me. The same tongue I used to praise Jesus with, was the same tongue I used to say the nastiest thing about someone else. Oh man, who does my tongue serve?!

In becoming better, I encourage you to join me in following God’s commandments. Murdered your hater today? Ask the Lord for forgiveness. Truly, pray for your hater. They’re also fighting a fight. Murdered the girl that tried to talk to your boo or ex boo? Ask the Lord for forgiveness and to remove the spirit of bitterness. Words hurt. They hurt the Father when He hears your words too. Speak and practice acts of love sis!

The Problem with Emotions

I’d say I spent my whole life being emotionally led. If someone hurt me, I had a bad day and if someone did good to me, it was a glorious day. The problem was I allowed others to control my life and I sinned every day not trusting my Father in heaven to direct my path. I allowed man to direct my path and to turn my eyes away from The Father.

Sister, are you emotionally led? Do you allow people to hand you over your emotions? Or do you rebuke it?  Do you do the most silliest thing while you’re in your feelings?

WARNING: We were created with emotions. Their functions are to help us communicate and motivate action. However we must not let them control us because they can be (1) deceptive and (2) straight up wrong.

Should we act on every emotion?

Are emotion facts?

No. Some emotions can be sinful thoughts which lead to sinful actions. (E.g.: jealous thoughts to hateful actions)

To be emotionally-led is to lack self control. So let’s check what scripture says about self-control.
“He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.” (‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭25:28‬)

That doesn’t sound like a safe city or a civilized place/person. When I think of a city with no walls, I visualize a city with no government, unorganized, and disastrous. A unorganized person with no authority (from the Father) is very concerning and dangerous.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.” (‭‭Galatians‬ ‭5:22-24‬)

Challenge:

Spend tomorrow, this weekend, next week (however long) processing your emotions and understanding how it got there and then analyze the reason why it’s there. Then ask, is it right? Is it healthy? Does it move me to love others? And does it inspire me to enter into the kingdom?

As I do this more often I realize, I struggle with some emotions that I never knew existed within me. I’ve recognized how wicked I’ve allowed my heart to become. But I’m using this time now to become better. I encourage you to take the time to bring that emotion(s) to the Father through Jesus Christ and ask:
Father, how did (emotion) get here? Forgive me for allowing (emotion) to live here. It is not my master, You are. Help me to forgive myself and the person that allowed (emotion) to get there. I just want to have Your fruits so that I can take on Your Spirit and not my flesh. So please, help me fight this emotion until Your return. In Jesus name, amen.

Sister, checking out emotions seems tiny  especially since we are more emotional than men. You might think we are met to be this way. But remember, Christ calls us to be sound-minded. How can we be sound-minded if we’re not talking to our brother because he told us our work appears lazy? Especially if he’s telling the truth. Don’t let your emotions keep you from making it into the Kingdom.

“Deliver us from evil Lord.” (Matthew 6: 13)

Jeremiah 17:9, Mark 7:21-23

Validation? But From Whom?

Validate (verb) : to authorize, ascertain the truth (Dictionary.com)

Some of you are familiar with this..
I can’t make this move until I make sure so and so approves. And if he/she goes “ehhh…. I don’t know about that “maybe I should reconsider because I value their opinion to the point I idolize it. Or I’ll just let it go because if they don’t approve, they won’t support this (I NEEED them even if God approved this already) thus, it won’t work. Easypeasy!! (My nieces say this)

Or this may be more familiar…
Man. Everyone seems happy with someone besides them. Maybe if I get me a side thing, I will feel valuable and i can post about how much I’m happy with him (probably a lie). And who knows, though I claimed him as a side thing I can SEE him being my husband. But for now, I’ll just try it out cause I’m tired of being single. Yes, I may have to lower my standards and break God’s law but I NEED him to make me feel happy. 

No sister, NO! Brethren, watch out now!

Why have we made man god over our life?!

I’ve experienced both scenarios above in different times in my life, more than once. And sure it worked out…but temporarily. I’ve always been filled with ideas but I grew up in a habit waiting to hear a yes from man or a “it’s okay” or a “I forgive you” to feel better about myself. But I’ve been seeking the wrong validation for too long.

I remember shutting off ideas & telling myself it won’t work merely because other people shut them down….

“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.”‭‭ (Matthew‬ ‭6:33)

Point blank, I should’ve seekers God and brought my ideas and EVERYTHING before the Lord in prayer.

“I sought the LORD, and He heard me, And delivered me from all my fears.”‭‭ (Psalms‬ ‭34:4‬)

He listens to our prayers, 24 hours 7 days a week.

I have questions. Did man place your idea to help the homeless in your mind? Why not bring it before God the Father. Feeling unhappy? Trust me! I know, BUT take this advice: give your heart to Christ. POUR it out. For “blessed are those who keep His testimonies, Who seek Him with the whole heart!”‭‭(Psalms‬ ‭119:2‬)

Think about it, a sinner can and will never fill another sinners heart.

Man cannot fill man up.

Man cannot complete you.

Man cannot provide you with eternal gifts.

And at any moment man makes you “feel” good temporarily, you should think about how this betters you.

“Hell and Destruction are never full; So the eyes of man are never satisfied.”‭‭(Proverbs‬ ‭27:20‬)

Seek validation from where abundance comes from. Not validation that lacks.

“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.”‭‭(John‬ ‭10:10‬)
If you’re reading this, you are most likely interested in becoming a better woman. So I encourage you in love to seek your validation from God. He already has. He sent His only Son to die on the cross for you and I.

Here’s how I see it, man don’t have facts. We have opinions. In what manner does one have the right to place his/her opinion on you?

Allow the Word to build you up. Cause when a storm comes around, you’ll stand firm in God knowing you’re on solid rock.

If you seek to be filled by man, stop. You’ve already have a chance in God. Choose Him and you won’t ever regret it. Man can deny you, and even hate you. But fix your eyes on Jesus and you’ll have peace pass any man’s understanding.